Being Free

I think of myself as a free spirit.  

My own definition of a free spirit is somebody who is care free.  Somebody who gets inspired and acts upon their own free will.  Somebody who doesn't feel judged or restricted by what others think of them.  I see myself that way...except for the last statement.  I get consumed with what others think of me sometimes although I don't want to care about it.  Maybe because it is my upbringing that I was told to think of others first.  It is a ligitimate argument because it is definitely kind and considerate to think of others first but if you are inflexibly doing so, you get stifled and cannot accomplish your own goal, cannot make your own dream come true and end up living only in your dream, not in your reality.  Am I living my dream?  Or am I living in my dream???  I have to take a moment to think about it.  While I'd like to think that I am living my dream, somethings are still in my dreamy state.  Now this is giving me an opportunity to rethink if I am a true free spirit.  

Flashing back to almost two decades ago, I took a "spiritual road trip" on my own.  That was a free spirit moment.  I did not have a lot of money but some holiday weekend in May, I decided to drive from LA through Nevada, Utah, Wyoming, Arizona and back to LA and it was an unimaginable, awesome and grandiose moment of my life.  I remember feeling so free from hustle bustle of the big city.  I was feeling the strong dessert sun of California in my face as I drove through.  Not so gentle breeze from my car window was inviting me joyously to a wonderful journey.  I had no hotel reservations which meant I had to sleep in my car.  And I did!  I remember thinking, "wow, I am free from all that I wanted to be free from and made a big grown-up decision to travel all by myself!"  It made me feel that I was a strong, independent woman who needed no assistance from anybody else.  And I liked to linger with that thought for awhile.  That type of spontaneity suits me all so well even now.  I always like to see things through my own eyes and experience with my own body.  I did not, and still to this day, do not like to be spoon fed somebody else's ideaologies or second hand information.  How can you make it your own reality while you still haven't been through your own?  They can share their own life stories but they're still not yours.  So I went on with some more of my alone trips to a few different places in the US after that.  And they were all good!  This is the time when I learned to open my eyes and my mind to accept different people, cultures, places, climates, different everything that exist in this world.  This is the time period where I learned to consciously get out of my tiny box of thinking and see things outside of my reality.  Life presents you so many gifts.  They are all kinds of different things, circumstances, perceptives and realities and all of them fascinate me like crazy! It absolutely pushed the envelope and taught me so much that I was able to know I had unlimited possibilities.  Those numerous road trips made me realize that we always have opportunities to do anything we want no matter what.  I'm so grateful for this life lesson.  Today, this philosophy stil resonates with me.  I am a self claimed free spirit and I love my life!  Sky is the limit so let's shoot for the Moon! Things can challenge me, like what's going on in the world right now but I keep living on with a can do spirit.  I can do anything I want and you need no permission from anybody!  Life goes on and so does my spirit, my free spirit.  And please remember, so do you!  Do not stop believing in your possibilities and potential!  Live up your life!!!

ちょっとした訳

a free spirit         自由人、自由な感じの人

care free             かまわない(状態)

free will               (誰からも、何からも縛りつけられず、しがらみのない)自分の意思

feel judged or restricted   批判、非難された、または縛られた感

get consumed with    (頭や思いが)いっぱいになる

ligitimate             正式な、正しい、ちゃんとした

get stifled            古くなる、にぶくなる

Am I living my dream?   自分の夢を生きてるかな？

Or am I living in my dream???   それとも自分の夢(幻想の世界)にいるから夢で終わってしまっている？？？

so free from hustle bustle of the big city   ごちゃごちゃしためんどくさい都会的なものからとき離され自由になる

all by myself         全て自分で

linger                    余韻が残る

spontaneity          とっさに、瞬発的に

to be spoon fed somebody else's ideaologies or second hand information

誰かの理想やまた聞きした情報を鵜呑みにする

Spoon feed はお母さんが赤ちゃんにご飯や離乳食を食べさせてあげること、要するに自分で思考せず与えられるがままに受け入れること

It absolutely pushed the envelope   完全に自分の可能性、極限を越えることができた

life lesson      人生の試練、学ぶこと

this philosophy stil resonates with me    この考え方(哲学)はいまだにあう、

self claimed   自称

Sky is the limit　　　無限な可能性

shoot for the Moon　　困難にチャレンジする

can do spirit  前向きな精神、なんでもこい！なんでも出来るという自信がある精神

live up       懸命に生きる